I was baptized Catholic as an infant. Confirmed Lutheran in sixth grade. I had quite the spiritual identity crisis. In college and the years that followed, I was a wanderer. As an adult, I began attending a non-denominational Christian church and made the decision to be baptized. After being baptized as an adult, I lived one foot in the faith and one foot out. I hadn’t fully grasped what it meant to be “a Christ follower.”
I vividly remember acknowledging sometime after being baptized as an adult that my life was good. Sure, I encountered challenges here and there, but they were nothing that seemed outside of “normal”. I wanted to inspire and encourage people, but with a seemingly good life, I didn’t know how I was going to be able to connect with and relate to others. So I did the unthinkable…I prayed for hardship. Have you ever prayed for patience? Well let me tell you, praying for hardship yields similar results – ask and you shall receive.
I haven’t maintained an inventory of each of the hardships that I’ve encountered along the way, but I have held firmly to the event that showed me when nothing else remains, Jesus does. You see, I hit rock bottom after being physically threatened by a co-worker. I suffered from PTSD, depression and anxiety. I took leave from the job to try and heal. One night while I was on leave, I had a nightmare that I took my own life. Once I awoke, I spent hours counting all that I had lost: namely a sense of safety and security. In the midst of counting my losses, I realized that I had gained so much: a true relationship with Jesus. After all, He was all that remained.
It was this single incident that caused me to evaluate what it means to be a Christ follower and to live out my life in a different way. And it was this single incident that was the start of where my journey to living my best life ultimately began.
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